February 2012
36 posts
“The lust for comfort murders the passions of the soul.”
– Khalil Gibran
“An Inuit hunter asked the local missionary priest:
“If I did not know about God...”
– Annie Dilliard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek
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Homos Exuality
I read somewhere online today the phrase “indulging in homosexuality”, its speaker no doubt riddled with secret depravities.
I pictured myself chatting with an acquaintance, perhaps while swirling a tumbler of Ardbeg, the other hand demurely smoothing the front of my cocktail dress (why is it that in all of my daydreams I am wearing a cocktail dress?). My acquaintance would bring up...
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Antonio
Antonio’s attempts to win over my girlfriend have been thwarted- for now.
The latest news is that Jackie has a Latin admirer. Not, not me. Another Latin admirer. Name’s Antonio. He lives down the street, and we heard through the grapevine that Jackie makes his heart skip a beat. With a name like Antonio, it is only natural that he be something of a lothario.
It’s the way he acts that bothers us-...
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“I’ll cheer for you just because you’re you. I’ll cheer when you’re on a journey,...”
– My best friend, Sarah
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How to Cook Dinner Stoned
1. Decide to cook dinner for your crippled, aging girlfriend.
2. Ask her what she wants (whole wheat pasta with marinara). Walk into the kitchen and pull out pasta ingredients. Decide to get a little high, because you can.
3. Exit the kitchen; enter the bathroom. Do a hit of from the bowl of weed on the counter. Do another.
4. Wash your hands and dry them. Tidy the counter top. Glance in the...
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“Oh, my name is Antonio
And I have a potty
And I pee in the potty
Because...”
– Watching my neighbor’s toddler inspired me to compose my first song on the mandolin, using the three chords I learned.
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I'm more of a prude than I thought.
This morning the sun shone brilliantly, but the temperature was in the early 30s. Before I set off on my bicycle, I mummified myself in long johns, a pair of jeans, a sweater and a dress over that, a hooded sweatshirt over that, along with a fleece cap, mittens over thin gloves, a coat and a scarf which I’d wrapped around my mouth and nose so that only my eyes were visible.
As I rounded the...
“But don’t forget who you really are. And I’m not talking about your so-called...”
– Louis Sachar
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Anna Cleans House
Anna took a deep breath and knocked on the man’s door.
Her first client ever in her cleaning service, her very first. As was the case in new situations, her heart beat a bit more quickly than usual, though not much, she was pleased to note. It was funny that her biggest fear in this venture was to not clean his house well- this was an unwarranted fear. As messy as she could be at home, she knew...
“Start saving your
pennies now. People
spend $300 (£190) on
crazy things all...”
– Madonna
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January 2012
47 posts
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“Callista Gingrich, like her vile husband, doesn’t believe that gays and...”
– Dan Savage
So who won the debate?
mohandasgandhi:
Amur’kah lost.
Rodents exhibit empathy by setting trapped friends... →
For some reason, this breaks my heart.
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